Kids tell about love / Дети говорят о любви
2011-Тра-24, Вівторок 11:01![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
finesoulKids' thoughts on love and the proper age to get married:
"Eighty-four, because at that age, you don't have to work anymore, and you can spend all your time loving each other in your bedroom." (Judy, 8)
"Once I'm done with kindergarten, I'm going to find me a wife." (Tom, 5)
What do people do on a first date? This is an especially funny quote about love:
"On the first date, they just tell each other lies, and that usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date." (Mike, 9)
Funny children's quotes about when it's okay to kiss someone:
"You should never kiss a girl unless you have enough bucks to buy her a big ring and her own VCR, cause she'll want to have videos of the wedding." (Jim, 10)
"Never kiss in front of other people. It's a big embarrassing thing if anybody sees you. But if nobody sees you, I might be willing to try it with a handsome boy, but just for a few hours." (Kally, 9)
"It's never okay to kiss a boy. They always slobber all over you...that's why I stopped doing it." (Jean, 10)
Is it better to be single or married? This is a funny quote about love:
"It's better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need somebody to clean up after them." (Lynette, 9)
"It gives me a headache to think about that stuff. I'm just a kid. I don't need that kind of trouble." (Kenny, 7)
Kids' thoughts on love and why it happens between two particular people:
"No one is sure why it happens, but I heard it has something to do with how you smell. That's why perfume and deodorant are so popular." (Jan, 9)
"I think you're supposed to get shot with an arrow or something, but the rest of it isn't supposed to be so painful." (Harlen, 8)
The question, "What’s falling in love like?" can reveal funny quotes about love:
"Like an avalanche where you have to run for your life." (Roger, 9)
"If falling in love is anything like learning how to spell, I don't want to do it. It takes too long." (Leo, 7)
Kids' thoughts on love and good looks:
"If you want to be loved by somebody who isn't already in your family, it doesn't hurt to be beautiful." (Jeanne, 8)
"It isn't always just how you look. Look at me, I'm handsome like anything and I haven't got anybody to marry me yet." (Gary, 7)
"Beauty is skin deep. But how rich you are can last a long time." (Christine, 9)
A funny child's quote on why lovers hold hands:
"They want to make sure their rings don't fall off because they paid good money for them." (Dave, 8)
What do you really think of love? Some funny quotes about love for wedding speeches:
"I'm in favor of love as long as it doesn't happen when “The Simpsons” is on television." (Anita, 6)
"Love will find you, even if you are trying to hide from it. I have been trying to hide from it since I was five, but the girls keep finding me." (Bobby, 8)
"I'm not rushing into being in love. I'm finding fourth grade hard enough." (Regina, 10)
Kids' thoughts on the personal qualities necessary to be a good lover:
"One of you should know how to write a check. Because even if you have tons of love, there is still going to be a lot of bills." (Ava, 8) What a funny quote about love!
Kids' thoughts on love and ways to make someone fall in love with you (great for wedding speeches):
"Tell them that you own a whole bunch of candy stores." (Del, 6)
"Don't do things like have smelly, green sneakers. You might get attention, but attention ain't the same thing as love." (Alonzo, 9)
"One way is to take the girl out to eat. Make sure it's something she likes to eat. French fries usually work for me." (Bart, 9)
How can you tell if two adults eating dinner at a restaurant are in love?
"Just see if the man picks up the check. That's how you can tell if he's in love." (John, 9)
"Lovers will just be staring at each other and their food will get cold. Other people care more about the food." (Brad, 8)
"It's love if they order one of those desserts that are on fire. They like to order those because it's just like how their hearts are on fire." (Christine, 9)
What are most people thinking when they say, “I love you”?
"The person is thinking, Yeah, I really do love him. But I hope he showers at least once a day." (Michelle, 9)
Funny quotes about love and learning to kiss (more great quotes for wedding speeches):
"You learn it right on the spot when the gooshy feelings get the best of you." (Doug, 7)
"It might help to watch soap operas all day." (Carin, 9)
Kids' thoughts on the stages of love, particularly good for both anniversary toasts and wedding speeches:
"Spend most of your time loving instead of going to work." (Tom, 7)
"Be a good kisser. It might make your wife forget that you never take out the trash." (Randy, 8)
http://www.suite101.com/content/kids-thoughts-on-love-a15669
In Remembrance of
The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture.
"Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, 'There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael, He's a doctor.'
A small voice at the back of the room rang out, "And there's the teacher, she's dead."
~~~~~
Dead or not dead
A kindergarten pupil told his teacher he'd found a cat, but it was dead.
'How do you know that the cat was dead?' she asked her pupil.
'Because I pissed in its ear and it didn't move,' answered the child innocently.
'You did WHAT???' the teacher exclaimed in surprise.
'You know,' explained the boy, 'I leaned over and went 'Pssst!' and it didn't move.'
~~~~~
Funny Kids Jokes: Bedtime Stories
One summer evening during a violent thunderstorm a mother was tucking her son into bed. She was about to turn off the light when he asked with a tremor in his voice,
'Mommy, will you sleep with me tonight?'
The mother smiled and gave him a reassuring hug.
'I can't dear,' she said. 'I have to sleep in Daddy's room.'
A long silence was broken at last by his shaky little voice;
'The big sissy.'
~~~~~
I'm thirsty.
A small boy is sent to bed by his father. Five minutes later..... 'Daad....'
'What?' 'I'm thirsty. Can you bring drink of water?'
'No, You had your chance. Lights out.'
Five minutes later; 'Da-aaaad.....'
'WHAT?' 'I'm THIRSTY. Can I have a drink of water??'
I told you NO! If you ask again, I'll have to spank you!'
Five minutes later......'Daaaa-aaaad.....'
'WHAT!'
'When you come in to spank me,can you bring a drink of water?
~~~~~
Education
A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, she said, "Now, class, if I stood on my head, the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the face.."
"Yes," the class said.
"Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position the blood doesn't run into my feet?"
A little fellow shouted, "Cause your feet ain't empty."
~~~~~
Mr. Sugarbrown's daughter
A certain little girl, when asked her name, would reply, 'I'm Mr. Sugarbrown's daughter.' Her mother told her this was wrong, she must say, 'I'm Jane Sugarbrown.'
The Vicar spoke to her in Sunday School and said, 'Aren't you Mr. Sugarbrown's daughter?'
She replied, 'I thought I was, but mother says I'm not.'
~~~~~
http://www.inspirational-e-quotes.com/kids-jokes.html
God is watching
The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray: "Take only ONE. God is watching."
Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies.
A child had written a note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples.
~~~~~
The Commandments
A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds. After explaining the commandment to "honor" thy Father and thy Mother, she asked, "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?"
Without missing a beat one little boy (the oldest of a family) answered, "Thou shall not kill."
~~~~~
Kids Praying
A little boy was overheard praying: "Lord, if you can't make a better boy, don't worry about it. I'm having a real good time like I am."
~~~~~
A Sunday school teacher asked her children, "And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?"
One bright fellow replied, "Because people are sleeping."
~~~~~
Moral Lessons
A Mother was preparing pancakes for her sons, Kevin 5-year-old, and Ryan 3-year-old. The boys began to argue over who would get the first pancake. Their mother saw an opportunity for a moral lesson.
She said, "If Jesus were sitting here, He would say, 'Let my brother have the first pancake, I can wait.'
Kevin turned to his younger brother and said, "Ryan, you be Jesus!"
~~~~~
One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head.
She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, "Why are some of your hairs white, Mom?"
Her mother replied, "Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white."
The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said, "Momma, how come ALL of grandma's hairs are white?"
~~~~~
A wife invited some people to dinner. At the table she turned to their six-year-old daughter and said,
"Would you like to say the blessing, dear?"
The girl replied, "I wouldn't know what to say."
The wife answered, "Just say what you hear Mommy say."
The daughter bowed her head and said, "Lord, why on earth did I invite all these people to dinner?"
~~~~~~~~~~~
http://www.inspirational-e-quotes.com/kids-say-the-darndest-things.html
See also
http://finesoul.livejournal.com/55175.html
"Eighty-four, because at that age, you don't have to work anymore, and you can spend all your time loving each other in your bedroom." (Judy, 8)
"Once I'm done with kindergarten, I'm going to find me a wife." (Tom, 5)
What do people do on a first date? This is an especially funny quote about love:
"On the first date, they just tell each other lies, and that usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date." (Mike, 9)
Funny children's quotes about when it's okay to kiss someone:
"You should never kiss a girl unless you have enough bucks to buy her a big ring and her own VCR, cause she'll want to have videos of the wedding." (Jim, 10)
"Never kiss in front of other people. It's a big embarrassing thing if anybody sees you. But if nobody sees you, I might be willing to try it with a handsome boy, but just for a few hours." (Kally, 9)
"It's never okay to kiss a boy. They always slobber all over you...that's why I stopped doing it." (Jean, 10)
Is it better to be single or married? This is a funny quote about love:
"It's better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need somebody to clean up after them." (Lynette, 9)
"It gives me a headache to think about that stuff. I'm just a kid. I don't need that kind of trouble." (Kenny, 7)
Kids' thoughts on love and why it happens between two particular people:
"No one is sure why it happens, but I heard it has something to do with how you smell. That's why perfume and deodorant are so popular." (Jan, 9)
"I think you're supposed to get shot with an arrow or something, but the rest of it isn't supposed to be so painful." (Harlen, 8)
The question, "What’s falling in love like?" can reveal funny quotes about love:
"Like an avalanche where you have to run for your life." (Roger, 9)
"If falling in love is anything like learning how to spell, I don't want to do it. It takes too long." (Leo, 7)
Kids' thoughts on love and good looks:
"If you want to be loved by somebody who isn't already in your family, it doesn't hurt to be beautiful." (Jeanne, 8)
"It isn't always just how you look. Look at me, I'm handsome like anything and I haven't got anybody to marry me yet." (Gary, 7)
"Beauty is skin deep. But how rich you are can last a long time." (Christine, 9)
A funny child's quote on why lovers hold hands:
"They want to make sure their rings don't fall off because they paid good money for them." (Dave, 8)
What do you really think of love? Some funny quotes about love for wedding speeches:
"I'm in favor of love as long as it doesn't happen when “The Simpsons” is on television." (Anita, 6)
"Love will find you, even if you are trying to hide from it. I have been trying to hide from it since I was five, but the girls keep finding me." (Bobby, 8)
"I'm not rushing into being in love. I'm finding fourth grade hard enough." (Regina, 10)
Kids' thoughts on the personal qualities necessary to be a good lover:
"One of you should know how to write a check. Because even if you have tons of love, there is still going to be a lot of bills." (Ava, 8) What a funny quote about love!
Kids' thoughts on love and ways to make someone fall in love with you (great for wedding speeches):
"Tell them that you own a whole bunch of candy stores." (Del, 6)
"Don't do things like have smelly, green sneakers. You might get attention, but attention ain't the same thing as love." (Alonzo, 9)
"One way is to take the girl out to eat. Make sure it's something she likes to eat. French fries usually work for me." (Bart, 9)
How can you tell if two adults eating dinner at a restaurant are in love?
"Just see if the man picks up the check. That's how you can tell if he's in love." (John, 9)
"Lovers will just be staring at each other and their food will get cold. Other people care more about the food." (Brad, 8)
"It's love if they order one of those desserts that are on fire. They like to order those because it's just like how their hearts are on fire." (Christine, 9)
What are most people thinking when they say, “I love you”?
"The person is thinking, Yeah, I really do love him. But I hope he showers at least once a day." (Michelle, 9)
Funny quotes about love and learning to kiss (more great quotes for wedding speeches):
"You learn it right on the spot when the gooshy feelings get the best of you." (Doug, 7)
"It might help to watch soap operas all day." (Carin, 9)
Kids' thoughts on the stages of love, particularly good for both anniversary toasts and wedding speeches:
"Spend most of your time loving instead of going to work." (Tom, 7)
"Be a good kisser. It might make your wife forget that you never take out the trash." (Randy, 8)
http://www.suite101.com/content/kids-thoughts-on-love-a15669
In Remembrance of
The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture.
"Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, 'There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael, He's a doctor.'
A small voice at the back of the room rang out, "And there's the teacher, she's dead."
~~~~~
Dead or not dead
A kindergarten pupil told his teacher he'd found a cat, but it was dead.
'How do you know that the cat was dead?' she asked her pupil.
'Because I pissed in its ear and it didn't move,' answered the child innocently.
'You did WHAT???' the teacher exclaimed in surprise.
'You know,' explained the boy, 'I leaned over and went 'Pssst!' and it didn't move.'
~~~~~
Funny Kids Jokes: Bedtime Stories
One summer evening during a violent thunderstorm a mother was tucking her son into bed. She was about to turn off the light when he asked with a tremor in his voice,
'Mommy, will you sleep with me tonight?'
The mother smiled and gave him a reassuring hug.
'I can't dear,' she said. 'I have to sleep in Daddy's room.'
A long silence was broken at last by his shaky little voice;
'The big sissy.'
~~~~~
I'm thirsty.
A small boy is sent to bed by his father. Five minutes later..... 'Daad....'
'What?' 'I'm thirsty. Can you bring drink of water?'
'No, You had your chance. Lights out.'
Five minutes later; 'Da-aaaad.....'
'WHAT?' 'I'm THIRSTY. Can I have a drink of water??'
I told you NO! If you ask again, I'll have to spank you!'
Five minutes later......'Daaaa-aaaad.....'
'WHAT!'
'When you come in to spank me,can you bring a drink of water?
~~~~~
Education
A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, she said, "Now, class, if I stood on my head, the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the face.."
"Yes," the class said.
"Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position the blood doesn't run into my feet?"
A little fellow shouted, "Cause your feet ain't empty."
~~~~~
Mr. Sugarbrown's daughter
A certain little girl, when asked her name, would reply, 'I'm Mr. Sugarbrown's daughter.' Her mother told her this was wrong, she must say, 'I'm Jane Sugarbrown.'
The Vicar spoke to her in Sunday School and said, 'Aren't you Mr. Sugarbrown's daughter?'
She replied, 'I thought I was, but mother says I'm not.'
~~~~~
http://www.inspirational-e-quotes.com/kids-jokes.html
God is watching
The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray: "Take only ONE. God is watching."
Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies.
A child had written a note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples.
~~~~~
The Commandments
A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds. After explaining the commandment to "honor" thy Father and thy Mother, she asked, "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?"
Without missing a beat one little boy (the oldest of a family) answered, "Thou shall not kill."
~~~~~
Kids Praying
A little boy was overheard praying: "Lord, if you can't make a better boy, don't worry about it. I'm having a real good time like I am."
~~~~~
A Sunday school teacher asked her children, "And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?"
One bright fellow replied, "Because people are sleeping."
~~~~~
Moral Lessons
A Mother was preparing pancakes for her sons, Kevin 5-year-old, and Ryan 3-year-old. The boys began to argue over who would get the first pancake. Their mother saw an opportunity for a moral lesson.
She said, "If Jesus were sitting here, He would say, 'Let my brother have the first pancake, I can wait.'
Kevin turned to his younger brother and said, "Ryan, you be Jesus!"
~~~~~
One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head.
She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, "Why are some of your hairs white, Mom?"
Her mother replied, "Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white."
The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said, "Momma, how come ALL of grandma's hairs are white?"
~~~~~
A wife invited some people to dinner. At the table she turned to their six-year-old daughter and said,
"Would you like to say the blessing, dear?"
The girl replied, "I wouldn't know what to say."
The wife answered, "Just say what you hear Mommy say."
The daughter bowed her head and said, "Lord, why on earth did I invite all these people to dinner?"
~~~~~~~~~~~
http://www.inspirational-e-quotes.com/kids-say-the-darndest-things.html
See also
http://finesoul.livejournal.com/55175.html
